You're Enough

Hi, I'm Michelle. Basically, all my life I've been a pretty good person. A goody-two-shoes is what some classmates would say. I get good grades, I'm in a lot of activities--the tennis team, the National Honor society, the Kitty Air Hawk Honor Society, the Science & Technology program, and the JROTC drill team. Some people are really impressed with my involvement and grades. But not my parents. One time I got straight A's and my mom said "That's nice. Next time, just do better." I said, "Mom, I got straight A's! You can't do better!"

I like being active and all but when I stop and think about it, I'm active in school because when I go home at night, there's no one there. My parents are both working and my sister's out with her friends. I grew up going to church every Sunday with my family but to me, going to church was stressful because I could never find anything nice to wear. I mean I know NOW that church is about learning about Jesus but back then, I just didn't get it. The story of Jesus just seemed like one of those fairy tales, like the tooth fairy or Santa Claus. Something to give you hope as a child only to disappoint you as you grew older. As the years went by, my dad stopped going to church then my mom did so she could work and then my sister did. And then, going to church went from being stressful to lonely. So one day at church, I said to God "This whole story about Jesus dying for me sounds very sweet but it doesn't mean anything to me. Please make it mean something and I'll come back." That was my last day there.

Three months later, my friend started talking to me about his church and invited me to go. I was curious so I went. People were lifting their hands up and singing songs as if they were serenading the sky. The story of Jesus meant something to them and I wanted that, whatever it was that they had. When the pastor said that all our works are like filthy rags--even our best accomplishments don't mean much, I started crying. Not because all my hard work meant nothing but because I was relieved. I had been tired of trying, trying to be a good daughter, a good sister, a good student. It was a relief that Jesus wanted to take on my burdens because even at 16, my heart felt so heavy. And I heard a voice in my head saying "You're enough, Michelle. You're enough."

I mean I still do my best but now, I don't do it just to make everyone else happy. I do it to make the Lord happy and whether I'm getting straight A's or failing, I know God sees that I'm doing my best!

Michelle
(accepted Christ in 1996)